When the Apocalypse was near, a group of fleeing turtles arrived at the bank of a broad river.
As they were wondering what to do, the River God rose from the water.
“My poor souls, all of you went through so much,” lamented the River God.
“Oh, dear River God, we’ve starved and lost families. The Apocalypse turns out even worse than everyone previously thought.”
In despair, the turtles started wailing.
“But now you are here,” the River God smiled. “If you cross the river, there’s a new world waiting for you.”
“Will we be safe?” the turtles got curious.
“Yes, no more danger.”
“Will we have food?” the turtles had their hopes up.
“All the food. Never hungry again.”
The excited turtles cried happy tears. However, as they got close to the river, ready to cross, they found that underneath the peaceful water surface were a bunch of sharks roaming.
“What is that?” exclaimed the turtles.
“It’s the Apocalypse and risks are inevitable,” explained the River God. “May I see all of you on the other side.”
He then disappeared into thin air.
The first turtle the River God met again at the border of the New World was a muscular one.
“Welcome, my child. How did you get here so fast?”
The muscular turtle replied, “After you left, we got into heated debates and strategizing. I couldn’t stand the noise so I simply jumped into the water and swam here.”
“Just like that?” the River God was surprised.
“I felt like if I waited any longer I would die anyway. What’s the difference?” the turtle shrugged while biting on a candy bar.
“Well… it worked. Congratulations! You made it!”
As they were chatting about the turtle’s new life, a smaller turtle showed up.
“Welcome, you are safe now,” the River God greeted him as well. “Tell me, how did you survive the sharks?”
“Ah, I didn’t really get to face the sharks,” answered the smaller turtle.
“What?” both the River God and the muscular turtle were shocked to hear that. “How?”
“I counted and there were only nine sharks in the water,” the smaller turtle smiled. “So I persuaded nine turtles to go into the water first and then it was just an easy swim.”
“You threw nine of us in the water to feed the sharks?” the muscular turtle were furious and yelled at him.
“Well, it’s the Apocalypse and risks are inevitable,” the smaller turtle was quite nonchalant about it. “I have to thank you for jumping into the water first. Otherwise, it would be quite hard to talk others into it.”
Seeing the muscular turtle about to throw a punch, the River God came between the two to mitigate. “OK… apparently, that worked too. Congratulations and welcome to the new world.”
No other turtle would emerge until half a year later when the River God found an exhausted and emaciated turtle lying outside his cottage.
“Oh, my poor child, let me nurse you back to health now.”
The River God touched his shell and the frail turtle soon magically gained back his weight and energy.
“Thank you, River God,” the grateful turtle couldn’t stop thanking him.
“Of course, I promised you guys a happy life here,” the River God was pleased. “Tell me, what happened? I thought you all had given up.”
“Well, after you left, we were all asked to come up with ideas. First, a guy jumped into the water and never came back. Then another bunch followed and never came back. Many of us couldn’t wait any longer and left one after another.”
“And… you stayed?”
“Well, I was asked to come up with ideas, remember? I couldn’t leave until I’d found one,” the turtle seemed regretful. “I am not smart, you see, and none of my ideas turned out to be workable.”
The River God looked at him and was even more confused. “Then… how did you cross the river?”
“Everyone else left in the end. Then I realized it’s winter and the river was frozen. That’s how I got here.”
History is made by three kinds:
Madmen, sociopaths and
Fools.